The Worst Night

Has your child ever woken you up early in the morning? There’s nothing worse right? Wrong.

We thought there wasn’t. We thought at 2am this morning that nothing could be worse than Babu running about his cot, wide eyed and alert with tooth or earache or a virus (we’re still not sure which). Until about 5am when we tried to put him back to bed.

See, Babu hasn’t mastered going down stairs – mainly because we don’t let him try – and so we’d grabbed him some juice and snack provisions, closed the bedroom door to stop him escaping, and got snugly under the covers to keep warm.

Then it came time for a ‘nap’. At 5am. Except we couldn’t put him for a nap. We couldn’t even take him to his room. Because our bedroom door wouldn’t open. That’s right folks, the handle had failed. And we were trapped. We were trapped with an hysterical Calpol’d up 19month old, no key (in case one of us became brave enough to clamber out of the window), an almost 3 year old likely to wake at any moment in the room next door, and nothing to prise our door open with.

At this point I have to admit that I then became slightly hysterical, which caused Babu to become slightly psychotic. He kicked us, he screamed, he sobbed, he smacked at his reflection in the mirror.

I wasn’t much better. I snapped at Ash, I snapped at Babu, I ran over different scenarios in my head like Noah waking, trying to get him to feed us the front door key under the door, and being too scared to. We’d have to call our landlord and get her to come and free us (thank God for pyjamas), or bang on the window, screaming for help, all the while thinking, “not again”.

What I probably should have mentioned is that this isn’t the first time we’ve been locked in a bedroom. In fact, it’s not even the second. It’s the third.

The first was our wedding night.

We had stayed in a hotel the night before we were due to go to the airport to fly out on our honeymoon. The suite was beautiful; a living/dining room with an adjoining bedroom and en suite. We’d gone into the bedroom to get changed and I’d closed the door. We ended up needing to get back into the living room to get our suitcases. I’d tried to open the door but couldn’t. Ash just thought I was being weak. He’d tried. It still wouldn’t open. No problem – we’ll just call Reception and get them to let us out. Ten minutes later, we were still waiting. Ash called back and it turned out we’d put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ on the living room door and they couldn’t get in (why they hadn’t called and told us that, I still have no idea.) And so a plan was hatched; the guy from reception would come around to the bedroom window, and give us a knife to try open the door with. Yes, that’s what I need at midnight on my wedding night – a strange man at my window wielding a knife. Somehow, luckily, Ash managed to open it in the end before Stabby arrived. We didn’t close the door again.

The second incident was when we moved into the property we’re currently living in. On the first day. We thought it strange – our moving buddies and I – that Ash had been gone so long, running some errand or other, but we had so much to do, we just got on with it. I also thought it strange that a consistent banging sound kept reaching my ears. After a while – I don’t know, half an hour – I headed upstairs for something. And the banging suddenly made sense. Ash had closed the door in one of the boys bedrooms, and for some reason, it wouldn’t open back up. And he’d been stuck in there all that time. Whoops. We don’t close that door when we’re inside the room now either.

In the end this morning, tweezers were our saviour. Ash bent them apart, slotted them down the side of the door, and popped it open. Not before he used it to unscrew the door handle to see if we could figure something out that way first.

And so today, we’re very tired. Noah was oblivious to all of this happening. I even ran in to his room to check on him straight afterwards and he was still dead to the world. It’s now 14.15pm and Babu is having his second nap.

Ash, his first. Noah’s just watching ‘Curious George’, completely unaware.

I think I need to lay down.


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