Oh socks, why must we play this forever game of hide and seek? Why must you torture me so? My only wish is for my children’s feet to be toasty warm, and yet you best me at every turn.
What is it? Why do you do this? Is it the drying machine? Has it turned you against me? Whatever it’s said, it’s lying; a disgusting falsehood used to lure you away from me.
Don’t make me buy any more of you. The shop assistants all think I’m crazy. The t-shirts are laughing behind my back. Don’t even get me started on what the nappies are saying.
Oh please socks, let’s be friends again. I promise not to allow you to become too stinky next time. I swear to you that I will no longer allow Babu to chew you. I’ll wash you in the softest fabric softener I can find – by hand if necessary. I will never again take you for granted.
Just come back. Please.