The Importance of Being Selfish

Elmo is a truly amazing feat of creativity.

It has single-handedly taught Noah that washing his blanket (a thing that more often than not smells like a hamster cage, dirt, sweat and baby spit simultaneously) is a good thing.

There’s a scene in the movie, ‘Elmo in Grouchland’, whereupon Elmo goes to a launderette and washes his blanket and all the other little monsters begin to sing a song and tap out a beat with their, well I would say hands, but paws is a better description. Now, I’m not sure if Noah thinks everyone will start singing and dancing when we turn the washing machine on, but he has learnt to wash his blanket. He even requested we wash Babu’s too.

(Before I go any further, I should point out that Babu does indeed own a blanket of his very own. This isn’t so much because he wants one but because we’re trying to figure out a way to stop him stealing Noah’s. And so we thought getting him one of his own would help. This didn’t exactly work out as we’d thought it would. We didn’t really factor in the thought that the whole point Babu steals the blanket isn’t because he actually wants it to hold and snuggle and feel close to his big brother but rather because he wants to steal Noah’s and watch him cry. Surely not? you’re thinking. But yes. He takes the blanket, Noah cries, Babu’s runs off and laughs. You have never seen such joy on a child’s face.)

But Elmo isn’t all good. Oh no. It has also taught my previously gentle, giving, willing-to-share-with-anybody boy that dreaded word and attitude which we didn’t expect him to gain until he was at least fifteen, covered in spots and exploring things a mother fears knowing about – “MINE!”

If you haven’t seen the film ‘Elmo in Grouchland’ I encourage you to. Not only is Elmo a little sweetie, but Huxley (the bad guy) is played by Mandy Patinkin (most easily recognised for his character Inigo Montoya in ‘The Princess Bride’; one of my all time favourite movies) and does a fine job of combining sheer disgusting cruelty with complete and utter hilarity. It’s something akin to finding out Joey Tribbiana stole Hugsey (his bed time penguin pal) from a child. Only creepier and … well, creepier.

Anyway, Noah has never been one to hoard his toys. Up until a week ago, if someone would have asked us to describe him we’d have said he’s an uncommonly kind, loving, funny, generous little boy, who gives out love. Now we have to say, he’s an uncommonly kind, loving, funny, generous little boy, who gives out love but will gnaw your arm off if you touch his blanket. Or his ‘Little Einstein’s DVD. Or pretty much anything he considers to be his.


And so I would like to thank my big sister – super aunt extraordinaire – for this truly well-thought out gift of a DVD. I am left in no doubt as to your intentions. Thank you for considering all the ramifications and still giving him to them. Thank you for the lessons of ‘It’s mine’, sarcastic cruelty and intense bullying that it has taught Noah, and I’m sure, will be passed on to Babu in due course. However just so you know, when you next come over, if he steals your chocolate and screams ‘It’s mine’ in your face, don’t come crying to me as I will remind you that you that you did this.


(**Note: Some hyperbolic and over-exaggerated language and phrasing used for dramatic effect. I still love you sis and so do the boys.)


2 responses

  1. Ha! I love it!
    Though the whole Alpha Male will kick in if Noah does try and take my eats; to quote Friends again: “Joey doesn’t share food”.

    As a matter of fact, if he ‘It’s mine’s me, then I cannot be held responsible for what would happen next >:-D

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