Without Motive

Loving your kids on purpose. Loving your kids without an agenda. Pretty obvious stuff??

My boys are amazing. I love them no matter what (a truly amazing feat at times.) Even when they’re being the naughtiest they can be, I still want to kiss and cuddle them. Well, most of the time. (Hey, I’m no saint.)

Babu hates getting dressed. He hates having his nappy changed. He hates being fussed with all together. To be completely honest, as much as he hates getting dressed, I’m pretty sure I probably hate dressing him more. He kicks, he screams, he wriggles, and worst of all, the most annoying, irritating, makes-me-want-to-scream-and-pull-my-own-hair-out thing he does, is roll over. You’ll be half way through putting his nappy on, and he’ll twist and twist and twist until he’s free. Maybe it doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but when poo’s flying everywhere, well, it really is.

I’ve had to start putting my feet on his tummy in order to tickle him with my toes to get him to stay still while I’m trying to fasten his nappy; something I’m sure will traumatise him later in life – my feet are far from being the most attractive thing about my person.

This morning, I had his clothes ready, I had his nappy ready. I was ready.
He was happily toddling about, chewing a remote control, as merry as can be.


I’ve taken to chasing him and ‘playing’ in order to trap him into letting me change him. If I outright tell him he’s about to get dressed, I get this face:

And then he steals the nappy.

This morning, I was filled with a certain amount of guilt as I plotted to get him dressed. I went to chase him and suddenly thought “what if I didn’t do the normal? What if I left him in his wet nappy a little longer and just played with him?”

The result was simply lovely. He giggled, he gave kisses, he jumped on me, I threw him in the air, I tickled him until he was laughing uncontrollably (Noah all the while riding on my back like I was a horse, one of his new favourite past times.)

Without an agenda, Babu was able to play unworried and free, knowing that his mummy’s only motive was to spend time with him and make him laugh.

So, my goal today? I’m going to love my kids on purpose. Simply to make them laugh. Simply to make them feel overwhelmingly loved.

Now, if I can do that while changing Babu’s nappy, I’ve cracked it.

**Note: I normally play with my children just for the heck of it. This is simply an example of when I sometimes don’t. No judgies.


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