As a mother of two small boys, I’ve experienced my fair share of willy related incidents. Our first born, Noah, literally only lasted a few moments out of the womb before he projectile wee’d all over his beaming “he’s finally here” daddy.
We’ve had the “I’ve taken his nappy off but forgotten to get a clean one” spurt. The “He’s stopped wearing nappies now, but I tickled him so much, he wet himself”. The “He went on his potty all by himself and then he emptied it all over the floor,” and the ‘I sat him on the toilet, but wasn’t paying attention and wee squirted out everywhere.”
My advice to anyone going through any of this right now? A change of clothing, protective goggles, and a closed mouth.
Some of the worst times have been nappy rash with our youngest, Tobias. Never fun when he’s wriggling all over the place screaming because he doesn’t want you to touch him and then HELLO! Pee party!
At the moment, our biggest issue is with Noah. He will NOT leave his little fella alone! He’s obsessed. He pulls, he tugs, he flicks it, and (good Lord) he’s been known to slap it (OUCH!)
Varying advice has ensued, some good, some bad, some bordering on child abuse. Here are some examples:
“Just let him do it – they never grow out of it anyway.”
“Put him in time out every time he goes near the area!” Erm …
“Tell him it will fall off …” =O
“Give him a treat if he lets go when you ask him to.”
And (my personal favourite) …
“Tell him he’ll turn into a girl.” My response to this: He’s two; he doesn’t understand the difference. And this isn’t factual, or helpful, just really funny. (Though I didn’t say that last part – I think they could tell by my unbridled laughter, right in their face.)
I’m considering mittens …